It’s important to remember that not everyone you meet is going to like you. I mean you don’t like everyone you meet do you? Sometimes you might not even know for sure that the person doesn’t like you. A snarky comment from a teacher, a dirty look from the guy in the car next to you, or a crosscheck in the back of the head from opposing hockey player. All these could be a signals you perceive as signs of dislike.Maybe be there is reason behind the dislike maybe not. Sometimes it’s hard not to return this supposed contempt in kind (I struggle with this). Although it’s hard not to feel this way I find that it’s best to turn the dislike into motivation. Prove to that person that you are a good person, that you do want learn, and that you are hardworking and kill them with kindness. This might not remedy their dislike for you but it is certainly a useful tool for success. Instead of saying “you’re an idiot” be the bigger person and use some compassion. Maybe it’s dumb to worry about people disliking you. Maybe you should just focus on you or not assume hate where there might not be any. Maybe all you can do is just continue being good to the people around you and hope for the best. In any case I think it’s hard for us or at least myself to just forget it because we are so social as people. It’s natural to seek approval to some extent.


4 thoughts on “Likeableness

  1. Well said!
    We all find ourselves searching for approval in unlikely places from time to time, though we know it’s a waste of our energy.
    It’s times like these when I complain to my mother about how “So-and-So doesn’t like me” or ” whats-her-face gave me a dirty look” and her advice is similar to yours and unwavering: “Be the best you can be”.
    We cannot change how people feel about us, but we can change how we treat them.

  2. I agree with you I am not found of having people dislike me and your right killing them with kindness does make you feel better. However, personally when I can tell someone doesn’t like me the killing with kindness only does so much that eventually there is no point anymore. In that case I choose to not interact with these people because honestly I feel they are not worth my time. Also dwelling on the fact someone doesn’t like us does make anything better because that it just giving more of your time to them.

  3. Personally I haven’t been crosschecked in the back of head but I definitely have been disliked. It isn’t a great feeling, I find myself wondering why I am so caught up on if this person likes me or not.. because really who cares? You are absolutely right that we have to appreciate the people around us and “keep being good” as you put it 🙂

    P.S I do not dislike you Hunter (only sometimes)

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